I know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels a little lost in life and wonders where to go from here. I’m sure you’ve felt that way too. All can be going well, then bingo … decisions to make that can change your life.
Some life decisions you really need to think about. Many decisions have a knock-on effect. Affecting those close to you and yourself.
Then there are the decisions that you know are for the best yet are reluctant to change. Maybe it’s the uncertainty, maybe the fear or even just unsure if the decision you choose is the right one.
Procrastination can stop you from making decisions. It sure stops me at times. Fortunately, it’s possible to stop feeling helpless when you learn how to feel a choice and take control of your decision-making.
Designing my life
Every day I work towards goals and invest time in personal development. Naturally, at times, it can be confusing knowing what to do. Yes, I may reverse engineer my goal and I know the basic steps to achieve the goal, yet I still think about it for a long time, before I proceed. Maybe there are times that you procrastinate way too long too.
In general, you know what you want. In fact, you may even have written your life’s blueprint, yet the worry is still there. Decisions need to be made. As you and I both know the wrong decision can have a personal effect and maybe even a business effect. I guess the answer is to really understand what you want in life. However, finding your purpose and really understanding how you want to live your life takes time. It involves working out and making some tough decisions.
3 Simple ways to make decisions
As a scout, I used to go on a penny hike where you flip a coin at every junction to decide which way to go. It was fun to do at the time, as you never knew where it would take you. The direction to go was chosen by a flip of the coin. At every junction, you flip a coin and if the coin lands head up you go right and if the coin landed tails up you turned left.
Flip a coin
When you make decisions in life, big decisions like moving house, living in a different country or packing up and just travelling for a while, can’t really be decided by the toss of a coin. But, let’s say you have two events at the same time that you want to attend. Naturally, you can’t be at both places at once. If you are finding it hard to choose which event to go to. Just flip a coin and go if the coin lands head up.
But, you could choose the opposite. If you listen to your body and your thoughts as you flip the coin your preferred choice may have been revealed. Think about it for a moment. As you flipped the coin were you;
- Secretly wishing for the coin to land on a particular side?
- If yes, why is that so, why do you want the coin on either heads or tails?
- Is fear your reason for not attending one of the events?
- If yes, is it the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone? Is it the fear you need to step through to overcome a limiting belief?
Discuss it out
Sometimes there are factors driving our decisions. These push and pull factors that are hard to navigate through. In these times it is good to ring a friend or mentor who knows you well and discuss your options, your preferences and your decisions.
Naturally, if you would like to discuss an event you are unsure about attending then the person you are discussing with should not be someone going to one of the events. If you attend an event because of a person who is going that is a pull factor.
It was push and pull factors that my husband and I looked at when we moved from Switzerland to Australia many years ago. Some of the pull factors for us were;
- Work life balance
- Warmer weather
- Learning English (my goal for my husband back then, fortunately, he was on board with it)
Moving to live abroad is not an easy decision and push and pull factors will continue even when you live away. Deciding to stay or return will play heavily on your mind at times. This is what I found when my husband and I had children, when our parents were not well and when there are large family events. The push and pull factors saw us moving between three countries when the children were younger. Each time taking a simple list approach.
The good or bad list
The good or bad list is not Santa’s list but a list of reasons for and reasons against. The pros and cons list. In the list write up the advantages under the pros and disadvantages under the cons. Also at the bottom of the page fill out two what if’s.
- What if I succeed
- How would I feel if I make the right decision?
- What if I fail
- What could I do to correct an incorrect decision?
When you live abroad there are often outside influences that push or pull you between countries. At present, there are many ex-pats in Spain concerned about Brexit who are struggling with decisions. This is an interesting read from the Devere Group. Devere Group is a company with which I have no affiliate, however, I like their last comment about not letting an outside force influence your quality of life.
How do you make personal decisions in life?
Every decision has a feeling, an emotion attached. So, no matter if you flip a coin, discuss it out or write a list you may find your feelings pulling you towards a certain decision.
- Ask yourself effective questions to discover if it is fear holding you back or ego driving you forward.
- Monitor your feelings and body reactions to certain words. Learn to feel the decision.
- Research but know you can learn as you go.
- Evaluate your decisions and don’t be afraid to activate the ‘what if’ plan if you need to.
Making a choice on important decisions in life.
My hubby and I have activated our ‘what if’ plans on at least three occasions when it comes to international living. Our hearts were lying in Australia and our emotions with family in our birth countries. The push factors to stay were living close to family, and friends, job security and location. Some of the pull factors were quality of life, work-life balance, entrepreneurial opportunities and a warmer climate.
Of course, important decisions should not be decided by the flip of a coin. They require some thought, some time to think through and discuss. Important decisions require you to think about your core values and how they relate to your choice.
There will always be hard choices in life. Yet, making a choice becomes easier when you slow down, ask yourself some questions, have a life vision and listen to your feelings.
Needing more help making decisions check out the below video from Marie Forleo with 4 simple tests to help you make the right decision every time.
Important decisions should not be decided by the flip of a coin. Important decisions should be informed decisions. However, you can make instant decisions on small choices, as when no decision is made, no action is taken. It is with action progress is made.
Let’s work together and take some control over our lives. Stop procrastination, and stop leaving decisions to chance. Be the one who makes a choice. Share how you make decisions in the comments below.